interesting and unique ways to get fired...by Newl

I just got note that my unemployment is running out...not out totally, but you know, i just moved to tier 2... and guess what that means. I only got 6 months left on this baby. ( in tier 2 at least) In order to get more government assistance I either need to get pregnant and have a baby in the next 6 months OR get a job and forgo govt assistance.  And, I guess the whole  procreating in 6 months so I can be on welfare and have a premature baby doesnt really sound like the "responsible" option.


So in memorium of my half year unemployment anniversary (its gone by faar too quickly!)  I will recount how I got fired/ let go ( it was actually because I didn't brush my hair-- this conversation was had months earlier. But not brushing my hair was the cited reason i was fired.) NOTE: This convo is a real G-chat at work conversation.

4:45 PM me: i feel like my boss is going to fire me because i have messy hair today*

4:47 PM Jeffy: I have a brush you can borrow, in the future

 me: hahaha

 Jeffy: one I don't use and you could even call your own :)

 me: i think brushing your hair makes it messier.

4:48 PM whatever i dont think bad hair day discrimination is fair

 Jeffy: no, it certainly isn't, especially when the face underneath is so pleasant

4:49 PM like a bird's nest perched in a gorgeous oak tree

 me: bird nest

4:50 PM Jeffy: boyd's nest

4:52 PM me: my eyes are so closed she [my boss] might think i am on drugs

4:54 PM Jeffy: you're livin well, it's important to show it :P

4:56 PM me: she [my boss] got mad at me because i dont like to file.

  its true. i dont.

4:57 PM Jeffy: oh good lord, who does?!

 me: i guess i just need to find a better place to hide it [all of the built up stuff I never filed, which i just left on my desk in folder conspicuously labled: TO FILE]
!

 Jeffy: you need an assistant to do it for you

4:58 PM me: she [my boss] is like "why dont you do it right away???!?! it looks so messy! you are not organized!"

  um, i am like "well, have i gotten the correct document to you every single time you asked for it?"

5:00 PM Jeffy: haha, well that's the key ain't it?

5:02 PM me: and also i guess i told her and someone else also told her that i just like to wait until i have a pile and then i do it all at once

  this is much more efficient

  and it IS more efficient.

5:06 PM Jeffy: you think you could win a filing efficiency contest with your method?

  I'd like to see a filing showdown